When Being Woke and Being Christian Don't Really Mesh

Hey y'all. I know it's been a minute (more like a couple of years) since I've posted.

So much has changed since the last time I've posted. I'm now a freshman at my dream college, and sure enough, I'm still dealing with the constant clash of my different identities, just in a different setting.

I like to think of myself as a person who tries to stay informed in regards to issues concerning marginalized communities. I'm not an expert by any means, but I try my best to be an ally to communities with which I don't identify. With that being said, sometimes that aspect of my character clashes with my identity as a Christian.  I've always known this, but now I know the extent to which those two worlds are at odds.

I'm currently attending a ski trip with a Christian organization at my school, and one of guest speakers is a woman who has a very controversial testimony that is essentially about her "deliverance" from a life of homosexuality. When this speaker was announced before the trip, there was a large uproar and a call to individuals attending the ski trip to show support for the LGBTQ community by not attending the speaker's sessions or going to the sessions, but then walking out during them. Last night was the first event in which this speaker was featured, and I had to choose what I would do.

I can admit that in church, I would cringe and mentally scold the preacher whenever he or she would make a comment about the LGBTQ community that I found problematic, but I can't remember ever dwelling on it. I would and shake my head and forget about it a minute later. On an especially reflective day, I might even Why? I mean, if I'm supposed to be an ally, why wasn't I more concerned about the words being expelled from the pulpit?  Because I didn't have to be.

As a heterosexual I have certain privileges- privileges such as the ability to choose if I want to ignore someone's opinions about members of the LGBTQ community even though said opinions are problematic, because those opinions don't attack my identity.

Last night was the first time that I truly wrestled with my "woke-ness" and what it means to be an ally to the LGBTQ community while also being a Christian. I ultimately decided to not attend the talk, and I don't regret it in the slightest. It felt right, and I would 100% come to the same conclusion if I had to go through it again, crisis and all.

So all of this is to say what? Am I suddenly going to stop being a Christian because I disagree with some of the things that my religion espouses? No. But I will absolutely be more intentional about recognizing the privileges that I have and pressing into the feelings of discomfort that I have around topics that don't affect me. Just because I can choose to ignore things that don't affect me, doesn't mean that I should. That's what being a good ally is.