My Truth

Well, it sure has been awhile since I've posted. I wish I had a better excuse than lack of motivation but that's all it is. However, I just had to voice my opinions on recent events in America. My heart is just heavy with all of the injustices happening to Black people in this country. I plan on marrying a Black man- yeah, I've seen the light- and eventually raising a Black child in this country. How am I supposed to do this knowing that they will have targets on their backs simply because of the color of their skin?

These events have made me realize just how many of my White "friends" view the issue of race in America. Now I know that they don't view me as Black when we're joking and laughing about trivial matters because I fit in. I was one of them. But after the terrible decision not to indict Darren Wilson for the murder of Mike Brown, I found my voice again. I wasn't quiet and docile like they wanted me to be, and no one really appreciated my "sudden change." People began to disrespect me and invalidate my opinions on race; people who I thought were my friends.

It hurt me to my core. I pride myself on being practically emotionless, but seeing these people I trusted with my life reveal their true colors brought an excruciating pain I never want to experience again. It opened my eyes. Yes, this blog is called "Diary of a Token Black Girl," but I never knew that the label I'd halfheartedly given myself was how people really viewed me. To them, I am the sassy Black friend who dresses like them, talks like them, but can get "ghetto" in  a heartbeat. I am a trope, a source of entertainment, a monkey in Lilly Pulitzer. I am their go-to person in order to hear "angry black girl" rants, but I'm not invited for a sleepover. I am the example of their Black friend when they want to justify their use of the word "nigga." I am a token Black girl.